maybe you think you might have found it, but you're not sure?
1. Be yourself - You see, if you fake it, you'll attract someone who belongs with a person that isn't you. And how will that help? Somewhere out there is someone who wants exactly the kind of person you are, complete with all the flaws and failings you come with. And I'll tell you something else -- they won't even see them as flaws and failings. They'll see them as part of your unique charm. And they'll be right.
2. Get over it before you get on with it - If your last relationship or two has left you a bit of an emotional wreck, it's better to repair the damage before you start looking for a new lover and partner. Otherwise you won't be able to show the real you, and you won't be able to focus on them if you're still preoccupied with yourself. So, do yourself a favour. Go away and hide somewhere while you lick your wounds. Enjoy your friends and your family, and wait until you've recovered a bit before you start looking for a new partner. And when you really do, try to pick someone whose scars are relatively well-healed too -- because of course this works the other way round as well. That way you can both see each other as you really are, and start your relationship the way you want to continue it.
3. Choose someone who makes you laugh - If you choose you partner for their looks, their status, even the rest of their personality, you could regret it eventually. Anyway, lots of those things can get lost along the way. Even personality traits can change -- a confident person can be shattered by an emotional trauma, a patient person can become irritable and frustrated through illness or pain. But a sense of humour will last you long after everything else has gone. Laughter is worth its weight in gold. A sense of humour is a very personal thing, and some people just make us laugh more than anyone else. You're almost guaranteed to fancy them, because anyone who makes you laugh will be hugely attractive, even if they're not physically what you'd been anticipating.
3. Being less than a hundred percent attractive is a great filter - Anyone worth having, on the other hand, will love you for yourself and won't mind the physical imperfections. So be confident, and know that you are attractive to anyone deep enough to care about the whole of you, and not just what you'll look like on their arm. And when that someone finds you, you'll feel special and completely forget about your flaws.
4. Don't keep making mistake.
5. You can't change people - The fact that you can't ask people to change, and even if they wanted to they couldn't do it. Sure, they can modify their behaviour, but they can't change their personality. So if you can't live with these characteristics, don't get involved. Whatever you do, don't embark on a relationship with someone thinking, 'I can't cope with this bit of their personality, but that's OK - I'll change it'. You won't, you know. Everyone can be irritating from time to time in a relationship (including you)
6. Relationship aren't about sex - The danger is that you'll mistake lust for love.
7. Get to know someone through all the seasons before making any major decisions - A year is perfectly reasonable lenght of time to ask someone to wait before deciding to live together, get married and have kids. If your wonderful partner is putting on the pressure after a few months, just tell them that this is your Rule: know someone through all the seasons before making any major decisions. If this is really the right person to be with, waiting 12 months to decide your future will be well worth it. After all, what's a year compared with a lifetime? What's the rush? Why not relax and have fun before all that real-life stuff starts piling on top if you.
8. Don't stay with someone who doesn't care - Somewhere out there is someone who will care for you properly in every sense. Don't throw yourself away on someone who won't. It will damage your confidence and your self-esteem over the years, as well as make you unhappy. So do yourself a favour and wait for someone better to come along. You want a partner whi makes you feel special because you are.
9. If you can't trust them, you haven't got a relationship - Maybe you've been lied to in the past and you find it impossible to trust people. Whatever justified you were in the past, it isn't fair to your new partner to make them pay for someone else's mistakes. If you can't trust your partner , you'll never be happy.
10. Be honest - THE CRUCIAL THING IS NOT TO LIE
11. Don't play games - And we don't manipulate people we love, we just let them know honestly how we feel and what's important to us.
12. You can't make someone love you - It's possible this is one of the hardest things to accept when it comes to matters of the heart. You find the person you've been looking for all your life. Trouble is, they don't seem to have realized it. Maybe you met recently and you've head over heels, but they don't seem very keen. You're hanging on desperately, sure that they must soon realize you are made for each other. . . Or maybe you've actually been together as a couple for years - they are very fond of you, after all, and being with you is easy - but deep down you know they don't really love you. Sooner or, maybe later they'll tell you that things just aren't working out, but you don't want to hear it. You try to persuade them to give you another chance. Maybe you try to change, to become the person they really want. It's all a bit humiliating really, but you don't see it like that. You think it's worth to win their love. Funny thing is, though - it never works. Love just isn't like that. You can jump through any hoops you like, beat yourself up for not being able to match up to their standard (as you see it), damage your confidence and your self-esteem in the process, and still they won't love you. They can't. Maybe they're gentle and apologetic about it,, or maybe they're unkind or even brutal. The same scenario is played out in relationship the world over - where only one of the two is actually in love. Think through some of the couples you know and I bet you can think of examples where this is true. I know people who have been through this, and have taken months or years to realize there's no hope. Since then, they've found romance with someone who reciprocates their love. And the interesting thing is that everyone I know who has been through this says the same thing: thank goodness that other relationship finally ended, because this is so much better. You see, however wonderful the object of your affections is, if they don't love you back the relationship will never be that good. Even supposing they could love you, if it requires you to keep jumping through all those hoops to hang on them, it's just not worth it. You need and deserve someone who loves you for who you are, not for who you're pretending or trying to be. So as soon as you realize you're with someone who doesn't love you, you need to be really brave and end the relationship before they do. You'll feel bad about losing them, but great for holding on to your pride, and one day you'll look back and realize how courageous and right a decision it was.
Reference: THE RULES OF LOVE (Richard Templar) Page 4-40.
